lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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