Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Randomize
