CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
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