Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize