I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
