dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
