how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
