HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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