This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
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