my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
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