I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
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