Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize