i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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