Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
