He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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