No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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