we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
