It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
