Can i not drive my cunt home
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
