im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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