if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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