Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Randomize
