I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
