Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
the day after is always just damage control
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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