i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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