Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize