everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
