Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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