He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
