I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
