I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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