Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
