I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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