we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Randomize
