I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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