why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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