I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
i think i just lost a toe
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
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