turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
