my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize