grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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