I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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