The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I just blew my weed a kiss
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
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