Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
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I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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