I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
