Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
