So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
