we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
