Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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