shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize