And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
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