No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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