They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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