so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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