Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
