Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
