I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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